Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
As always, Sookie spend the season either standing around watching other people do stuff, or fulfilling the whims of those around her. Waltz into what is clearly a trap? Sure! Suck Eric’s blood? Of course! The best moments for Sookie this season happened in Dallas, when she met her psychic best friend Barry and was also confronted with the possibility of becoming a vampire. Both of these shook up her fundamental beliefs about the world, and you can be that they’ll both be themes next year. Oh, that and trying to find Vampire Bill. More on that later. Bonus best moment: magic maenad lightning! Worst moment: anytime she just stands there and screams. Ugh, do something for once, Sookie!
Oh, Jason! Pretty much his entire tenure at the Fellowship of the Sun commune was golden. Aside from his amazing quotes, like “Evil is the premedicated decision to be a dick,” Jason suffered through many of the spiritual questions people face when thinking about their faith. Do I trust every tenet of my faith, or can I pick and choose what to believe? Can I trust my leadership? Do we hold the monopoly on truth, or is there room to compromise? In the end, the Newlins were charlatans who exploited a new and scary group, which is a pretty bleak message for the rest of us. But thank God for that paramilitary training – it really came in handy against the black-eyed zombies. NOT. Jason’s worst moment was that handjob in the tub. So awkward. What’s next for our favorite all state QB? Frankly, he’s an enigma. Within the reset button pushed on Bon Temps, he could easily go back to his drinking and philandering. Or maybe he’ll team up with Sook to find Vampire Bill?
Vampire Bill Compton
Bill didn’t do a whole lot this season. He defended Sookie, as always, and was a conduit for important expository information. For example: did you know that all beings wished themselves into existence? I didn’t, and neither did Vampire Bill. But now we both do. Still, I love him. Mostly for the flashbacks. Best moment: “Oh, I’ve read about maenads before.” Cue flashback book, flashback costume, flashback set, and flashback hair. Total time spent on that scene? Maybe two seconds. TOTALLY WORTH IT. Worst moment: the refrain: “Sucky is maaahne!” which occurred about once an episode. What’s next for Bill? The inside of a canvas bag, apparently. Badum-dum! But seriously, folks, I’m fairly certain that Eric stole him. “I’ll take care of him personally,” were Eric’s words. Yeah, he did, all right. There’s also a theory that it was Fellowship of the Sun. We’ll see!
Jessica and Hoyt
Best couple ever! I’ve been waiting for a juicy storyline for poor Hoyt after he was relegated to playing third fiddle behind Jason and Rene last season. He’s such a sweet boy, and Jessica turned out to be much better than her initial characterization in Season 1. But then everything was ruined was Jessica drank Mrs. Fortenberry’s blood. If I had a dime for every time that situation has ended a relationship…oh well. I predict that next season, Hoyt will try to win Jessica back from her slutty, trucker-drinking ways. Will he succeed, or will he be drained for his efforts? Stay tuned!
Shapeshifter Sam Merlotte
I haven’t cared about Sam since it became apparent that Sookie will always choose Vampire Bill over Shapeshifter Sam. But Alan Ball seems determined to make me care that he was abandoned by his parents, and track his adventures for self-discovery. Best moment: his heart-to-heart with Andy Belfleur in the meat locker, when it looked like it was the end of the road for them both. Worst moment: Daphne. I mean, I know Sam is good-hearted and naïve, but really? She had huge claw marks on her back, and it took him three episodes to ask about it. What’s next? Find his parents, learn about himself, blah, blah, blah. My bet is that they’re werewolves.
After losing his mentor/lover? Godric, we saw the human side of Viking McViking this season. He cries! He laughs! He smiles! I will still always root for Vampire Bill for Sookie’s heart (figuratively and literally – hey-oh!), but I now see the appeal. I really hope Sookie doesn’t give it to the attraction that resulted from drinking his blood - sexual attraction, as Bill laboriously pointed out. We'll see if Sookie and Eric team up to rescue Vampire Bill, assuming he isn't the kidnapper. OR, he is the kidnapper, but pretends to help Sookie to lure her into his clutches.
As you can see, I could talk about True Blood all day, so post your favorite moments, character developments, and predictions for next season. I look forward to hearing from you!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Dear Joel McHale,
You are an attractive and talented man. You are the host of one of the funniest shows on TV (though vastly underappreciated, poorly scheduled, and has the misfortune to be broadcast on E!). So, why, Joel, did you decide to betray your fans with a mediocre sitcom for NBC?
While the premise of Community is intriguing - a slick lawyer is about to be disbarred for not having an undergraduate degree, unless he attends a local community college - the pilot relied on wacky costars rather than focusing on you, Joel, the hilarious and witty man that you are. Your one moment to shine was an inspired monologue on what separates humans from the animals: our ability to connect to and forgive anything around us, as exemplified by our love of Shark Week and the generosity of bestowing a screenwriting Oscar on Ben Affleck.
But who’s surprised that you can sharply deliver media criticism? If they are, they shouldn’t be. That’s your job! That’s what you do – and we love you for it! No one cares about your budding relationship with a cynical high-school dropout who bears a remarkable resemblance to Elizabeth Shue, nor your abusive friendship with an Asberger’s addled half-Arab (not my words, Joel). And Chevy Chase? Really? I mean, really?
We care about you, Joel. Your smirky smile, your endearing gangliness, and most of all, your intelligent, dead-pan humor.
And that script. I’m embarrassed for both of us. You receive a manila envelope with all the answers to all your exams for the semester, only to find out they’re blank pages? I can only imagine that pitch: “Don’t you get it? He thinks he has all the answers, but he doesn’t! He doesn’t have any of the answers! It’s a parallel to his life! You get it?”
Yes, we get it, anonymous junior writer. And your ham-handedness is not appreciated here.
Joel, I’ll be honest. This is not a show I’m going to continue to watch. Unless, of course, it’s just you and your musings on today’s culture.
But wait – that show already exists.
Best of luck,